The DaChristy Code

What is the secret that links these three men together, and the conspiracy that through them is controlling a major portion of the emergent churches that are being planted in major U.S. cities?

New York, Los Angeles, Minneapolis…These three emergent church pastors barely know one another, yet a single influence has surreptiously worked among them to keep them all on a similar path of personal warmth and kindness to strangers.

What clues can be found in this photograph (look closely)…something about Christ….about loving Christ…NO! Wait!...Not Christ – that’s too obvious….Christy…Yes!...loving Christy!!!

But what is the connection between Christ and Christmas and this purported Christy figure???

Hmmm...Merry…a commonly used word around Christmas time…it’s coming together…if I could just understand the connection between the word Merry and this Christy figure…???

Wait, I’m looking at it backwards! If I just take the words….and change their positions…Merry….Christy…now…Christy…Merry…That’s it! Christy Merry!!!

That is what I see buried in the photograph…They are all connected to and love Christy...see, it says We Love Christy, who is one and the same with this Christy Merry!

Mystery solved…one woman, named Christy Merry helped plant each of these emergent churches. That’s right, she lived in Minneapolis and planted Bluer, pastored by John Musick (in the middle), then she moved to Los Angeles and planted Kairos with JR Woodward (on the right side), and then she moved to New York City and planted Communion of the Arts (Cota) with Jeff Kursonis (on the left).

Wow, one woman is really at the center of this whole emerging church conspiracy, she single handedly helped plant three of the most well known emergent churches in the USA. Her name is Christy Merry, and we all thank her for her warmth, and hard work, and especially for her gift of gathering people in, especially, “the other”, the stranger.

We Love You Christy, see, our shirts say so.

The Crack

I just read a long series of comments following this post, the main thrust of which was trying to understand the emerging church movement in light of a whole series of criteria, all of them current or modern ways of thinking, and trying to make sense of emergent within those modes of thinking. I was overwhelmed by a sense that they would never get it if they didn’t realize that they couldn’t analyze it from a modern perspective. Such a perspective rigidity would fundamentally lead to misunderstanding…here is my comment:

I really enjoyed reading all your comments, what a wise and charitable group you are.

The one biggest feeling that emerges within me after reading all these is that indeed there is a difficulty in trying to explain or in trying to understand what the emerging church movement is.

I think it is because it is something billowing up from the innards of a wide and diverse group of people that have for the first time been freed from thinking in only a modern milieu, that through the crack that this little postmodernity thing has ripped open in the massive backside of modernity, a new perspective has been achieved; actually for the first time in a really long time, a totally new perspective has been found. It is the one afforded to those who look out the crack.

Some people are peeping out that crack and things are billowing up within them. They are trying to describe it, but even they themselves do not really understand what it is they are seeing, they only know they are drawn to it forcefully, and that they have a new ability to think and feel things they never imagined.

Others are looking at them and what they are saying, and sometimes without also sharing that view out the crack, are unable to process their comments because they simply are not experiencing this totally new perspective offered.

Many are now climbing up to the crack, to take a look, others are just too busy with their good lives and responsibilities to have the time to take a look. Not to say they wouldn't if they had a few minutes respite from their responsibilities.

Truly this crack has afforded a totally original view, a perspective that cannot be understood from prior categories.

I'm trying to actually climb out of the crack and get to the other side (emerge). Many will prefer to stay where they are, and that is fine, and many will be very curious and get up there and peer out the crack and talk to the others who are doing so and who are feeling something billowing up within them. There's a big feeling component to it, you can't necessarily understand it all now, it's more that you have to feel it.

I totally understand the consternation this kind of language might bring to some, and I just smile humbly to myself as I pitch my axe head a few feet higher and continue to climb. I am going to figure out how I have become more socially liberal and yet more deeply pious at the same time. I am going to find out why I am becoming more concerned about loving people in general than I am about converting them.

I'm hoping to find some clue as to why these things are billowing up within me like when I sense within myself a total dedication to God’s Kingdom and the drawing of others into it, yet I feel more and more like a universalist because of Jesus. How does my great belief in Jesus the Word, the Word is God exist at the same time that I am losing my inerrant view of scripture and replacing it with a sense of wonder at its humanness; and a feeling that that very humanness and its inherent mistakes and missteps causes me to believe even more in a God who's so interested in me a human, that he not only became a human but spoke forth his Word through human frailty.

How is it that I’m becoming far more interested in my humanness and in the greater community of humans I live with the more I try to walk in the Spirit? How did I, a lover of Keith Green and imbiber of his anti-Catholic views become so fascinated with liturgy and Eucharist and Pope JPII and the complete sense that I have no more need to protest?

I’m not sure I totally understand how a Southern California Republican lover of Reagan like me become a sojourner of the new religious left; partly it’s because I wanted to be in solidarity with my New York City community and because post 9/11 the word fundamentalist viscerally scares me, but I still don’t totally understand how this happened to me.

I'm definitely a new kind of Christian and all my old kind of Christian’s friends’ attempts to understand these changes in me all seem to lack any awareness of, or sense of, my totally new and original perspective out the crack. Somehow looking out the crack has changed me.

A New Coordinating Group Emerges

I just returned from the Emergent Coordinating Group meeting in Minneapolis. It was such an amazing gathering of likeminded people of faith set on reforming our tired and broken church so that God's Kingdom can be on earth as it is in heaven. I just watched the movie, The Patriot, at the end of the war, surrounded, Cornwallis realizes that these farmers and commoners had defeated the British Crown, he says, "Everything will change, everything has changed". He realized that right there on that day, the balance of things had been fundamentally altered. It would take a while to be played out and understood, but that this new thing was replacing the old thing.

Some might not like the "tired and broken" language, but I don't think we would need such passionate progressiveness if the church were anything less. A church that is hemorrhaging like ours where, for example, the people of my community utterly despise it, is a church that is is not vibrant, but tired, and not whole, but broken. I cannot apologize for such language (and I stand in pretty good company when the Prophets and Jesus describe the state of Israel or the church), I can only reform with all of God's strength that he pours through me. (don't worry, I don't take myself too seriously, and I do kind of laugh at my hotheadedness, but oh well, what would the world or the arts be without passion?). Things are set in motion, the church will be different from what it was...but how different it will be, and whether it will be actually better, are still to be decided

Now on to some of my reflections of the gathering: One of the people I was looking forward to meeting was Jaime Arpin-Ricci, a fellow YWAM'er and great writer and understander of emergent. So there he was in the driveway of Doug Pagitt's house, when we returned from the weekend at Tony Jones cabin. We had just dropped Tony off at home, and I drove Jaime over to Solomon's Porch in Tony's van. We had a wonderful time chatting as we attempted to get around Lake Harriet which got in the way of our direct route. So we went around it, and when I felt I had gone far enough I tried to carry on towards the Porch, but discovered that I had driven all the way around the lake and was back where we started! Awesome, more time to talk to Jaime! For an excellent overview of the meetings, read the two posts on Jaime's blog, and subscribe to it, it's a good one.

I went early to enjoy the Summer Institute that Solomon's Porch had the week before. I hoped to connect to some great Emergent's and Porcher's, and I was not disappointed. I have never met such a wonderful, warm, hospitable group of people. I really wanted to move there and live among them. Thanks to Matt Henry and Cory Carlson for their hosting of me in their home, and to Luke Hillstead and the wonderful art group that gave me a wonderful evening at the Walker Art Museum. I will never forget the cathedral bells ringing across the street and captured in the bowl of a field where we stood behind the museum...the sound was mezmerizing.

Then my poor tired weary two and a half years of church planting bones were treated to a weekend on the lake at Tony Jones family cabin. What a great group of guys that went up there and just talked and talked and ate and drank and cruised the lake in the pontoon boat. Mark Scandrette is now one of my buddies and hero's. What a man.

What a journey from when I called Tony last year to see if he or Brian McLaren could come speak at our summer TALK About Church preliminary meetings, and he said, "Well, Brian's sitting here in the car next to me"...and they were driving home from the Emergent Coordinating Group meeting that they had held in the cabin. One year later, and I'm at the cabin. Wow, what a thrill and significant part of the history of our young COTA.

I went to this meeting determined to find a role and carry some of the weight of the work of coordinating this conversation, and being ready to hear and sense when the Lord would transition it to a full blown movment. I sense that transition will take place at different times in different places, and that it will be soon. I did accept a new responsibility within Emergent Village that I will discuss later after I actually begin to do it, and that will coincide with the launch of the new EV website.

Wisely, one of the big decisions was to fully embrace the name Emergent Village instead of just "emergent". It has been so confusing to explain emergent (the organization) is different from the emerging church, and sometimes churches or individuals or the whole thing are described as emergent. So now it will be simpler to just say Emergent Village when refering to the organization.

Thanks to everyone who came and touched my heart, and gave me hope for a future whole and vibrant church where NYC artists and other regions post-Christians can look to the church as the place where they can come to find Jesus. Where the church will be an innovator in the arts and true community will introduce real love to many for the first time.

My First Wedding and Big Announcement

Well, that's it, I'm a marrying man.

I had a wonderful time this weekend presiding at the nuptials of a wonderful young couple that comes from a couple of wonderful families. In particular, I was adopted by the Bride's family. I spent the weekend with them and they treated me with such love and hospitality that I'm probably good for another year of singleness.

I was refered to this lovefest by a person I respect very much and was able to get to know a lot of people that he has known for years, including sitting next to one of his mentors at the reception. The result is that I feel closer to him and was glad to have his trust in refering me and to be able to perform the wedding that he couldn't.

Interestingly, the first half of the wedding was a Hindu ceremony, which was very earthy with sprinkinling of spices and lots of flowers and fruit. The whole thing takes place up front with the couple, and their parents at times, and has little interaction with the audience. I would like to see how some of the growing theology of our forgotten humanity could express itself in Christian ceremonies that could be less about talking and assenting to facts and more about physical earthiness and touch and movement. We are seeing this in our liturgies, it will be interesting to see it in our marriage ceremonies.

Here's the big announcement...I was asked a few weeks ago to join Emergents Coordinating Group, and I'm going next week to the yearly gathering. I was shocked and deeply touched and amazingly encouraged to be asked. Emergent is my people, and so I am thrilled to be able to join hands and help do the work of coordinating this amazing and fruitful conversation.

Also, the NYC Emergent Cohort has its first meeting on June 23rd here in Manhattan. We already have a good group of people from all over the map on the list and expect quite a time together. Email me to be on the list, or comment below and I'll get it.

I feel like a rock band that is struggling locally, but is huge in Belgium. My little church is entering a tough summer lull, but so many exciting emergent things are happening. I'm always emailing people from all over the globe. I have meetings with amazing people that either live here or are passing through NYC...the friendship and the conversation is very warm and stimulating (unfortunately, my poor team members don't get to experience this side of things and are quite discouraged with the summer lull, see post below).

So, we are full with the good and the deeply challenging. Lord be with us, help us.

The Agony of NYC Summers

Arrrgggghhhhh. After nine hard months of church planting, the summer comes and 2/3rds of our people are uprooted, leaving our plant very shaky.

Of my eight core team members, only two are here. Another one will be here some this summer, and the other not sure. Four key people gone for the whole freakin' summer. Arrrggghhhh.

This is what happens when you have very cool artists - they do cool things in the summer.

Dear Lord, send help and some new people to carry the load for the hot summer in the city, and encourage my remaining few who see little results for all their hard work.

I am not as discouraged because I see so many amazing things happening behind the scenes, and I see awesome growth and community in the fall...but they don't have the benefit of my perspective, from where I stand. I hurt for them.

Fourth Sunday & A Wedding

We had our fourth Sunday this week. It was the first time I was really able to relax.

Because we have the problem of a bunch of our key people starting to be out of town for the summer, we have had to pull back a bit and be a little more low key. We had started with a bang, and that was kind of necessary, but now we are simplifying. For me that makes it more enjoyable - more intimate, more relaxed. We are still fairly small so it makes sense to pull the circle in tighter and be more intimate.

It also makes it easier to plan and run. It gives me a chance to get used to things, sense the flow, and then in the fall when everyone is back, and following the seasonal flow of NYC - that the fall is the big exciting time of everything starting for the new year, we will ramp up again and do more stuff.

Also, an exciting development for me - I am going to officiate my first wedding! I was contacted through friends of a friend, and following a series of get togethers with the family and the couple, I am going to perform their wedding in late May. I'm really enjoying the process of figuring out how they want to do it and stepping into this area of being a pastor.

Minister's have a cultural role in our society, and it's interesting and enjoyable to me to begin to take the mantle of that role. Of course, I am doing everything else in the church crazy new and progressive, in terms of the role of the pastor, so its fun to kind of realize, "oh, yeah, there are just straightforward areas where I don't have to be so progressive, where I can just be a minister, and do what minister's are supposed to do".

Wonderful Weekend of Authors

So, now we have three Sunday gatherings under our belt and we're feeling a little better about everything in terms of logistics.

This Sunday we had a wonderful time with our special guests Becky Garrison and Paul Thorson and his family.

Becky and Paul got hooked up by their Christian publisher's while Paul is here in NYC to do many things and amongst them help launch his first book, Painting in the Dark, which comes out on Tuesday. Becky is one of the few NYC emergents I have met, but we both can see that there are soon to be many more (more on that later). She has been writing for the Wittenburg Door for many years, and her new book, Red and Blue God, Black and Blue Church : Eyewitness Accounts of How American Churches are Hijacking Jesus, Bagging the Beatitudes, and Worshipping the Almighty Dollar, just came out.

Paul came and shared with us at Cota, both his music and the great things God has been teaching him about how we all are made for glory - but we don't know whether to believe it when we sense it or repent of it. Instead we often end up pursuing our own diminished form of glory by working hard to build and maintain our reputation. His book goes into great detail how to understand all this, and how to walk with God and embrace your weakness so God can fill you with his strength, and his glory.

When he first talked to me about this a couple days earlier, I thought of the ubiquitous scene across generations and cultures of a young child shooting baskets, and while he is dribbling and setting to shoot, he is simultaneously mimicking a sports announcer who is describing the play by play of the child's own actions..."he fakes left...turns...plants...he shoots!...he scores!...(sound of crowd cheering). What the innocent child is doing is recreating a moment of glory. It's about the feeling of glory the athlete has when his amazing performance causes thousands to vocalize their thrill. They are giving glory to the athlete, and amazingly, it is glory well deserved.

The athlete overcame great obstacles to acheive the goal, and he glows with the sense of a job well done. We were made for that. We were made to be the most amazing humans. We were made to bring out all the fulness of love and giving and service and creativity that God intended humans to have, against all the obstacles of this evil world that wants to stop us. God loves when we live in that ever expanding way, that he knows is only possible when the human lives as he was intended to - full of God's Spirit - flowing and operating out of that spiritual strength within his body, and overcoming all the outer and inner forces that try to stop that flow.

The whole Christian life, the process of maturing, is the process of learning how to get that flow. It has been arranged by God a certain way, and all the characters of the bible culminating in Jesus show us through their lives how it comes about.

Paul has a church in Kiev, Ukraine that is primarily full of artists like Cota. So, if I can talk him into it, (which means I pray really hard and get the Holy Spirit to command him to do it, because I know he'll obey), maybe we will be sister churches of artists.

I also got a chance to hook Paul up with Tony Jones who was in town briefly.

Our First Sunday Gathering! Awesome! Whew!

This blog was started to record the journey of starting a new kind of church for the NYC artistic community (which includes anyone who loves the arts - many non-artists), and to be a place for discussion of Art & Faith issues.

Well, we have reached a major milestone - our first full Sunday worship gathering.

Just to let you know, we didn't choose Sunday morning for traditional reasons - we were desiring to find the best time, whether on Saturday, Sunday or Friday, to have a weekend gathering with a full worship liturgy. It turns out after talking to a lot of people and doing a poll, for our demographic - people in the NYC artistic community, that Sunday morning is the one time that everyone is available. Many have shows on Sat. night, rehearsals on Sat. afternoon, and either shows or dates on Friday night.

So for me, this has been a two and a half year journey, for the team a nine month or so journey, and there is a great sense of joy, excitement and relief.

We were humming along on Thursdays, slowly adding elements and refining others, and in December we had abandoned our previous plan to start Sundays on a pre-set date, and go instead in a more organic way - when we were ready and the Lord led us, we would go to Sundays.

So, it was only 3-4 weeks ago that it all lined up and we prayerfully decided to move to Sundays. It has been a whirlwind to do it so quickly, but that suited us well.

We had a weekend retreat the weekend before to pray and plan, and there we came up with a final amazing actual layout of the gathering. Then the whole week leading up we had a number of meetings and work times to prepare - I was exhausted by Saturday night, but amazingly peaceful and rested on the Easter morning of the gathering.

Everything went so well, and we were all amazed at how all these disparate parts came together, and how our giftings melded so well, and out of all that came this beautiful space and worshipful gathering. I've written a description of the gathering below.

One thing I want to highlight in this blog for others church planting or considering it. Prayer has been the key for us, our modus operandi. We never talk and discuss ideas and plans without having prayed first. We want to be in that post-prayer, spirit led, state of mind when we discuss and make decisions about something as important as the body of Christ and how it gathers to worship.

We truly believe that Jesus leads the church, and so we would never presume to think we know what to do without hearing from Him first. After we pray, we trust that he will lead us and we get crazy creative.

It has been so thrilling for me to watch my dream come true - to have artists create an entirely original worship liturgy. The team that God has gathered to do this have just an amazing set of gifts to envision and execute wildly creative original ideas.

So now we look forward to growing and developing as a body of Christ - to love one another as God has loved us, and to draw people to God's love.

Here's a description of our inaugural Sunday worship gathering:
*************
As for our first Sunday gathering, wow, what an amazing day it was. We transformed this room we have here in the Lamb's theater - ceiling drapes billowing out in all directions. Japanese rice paper lamps, many candles.

In the beginning, we had everyone outside, and the team stood in a circle around the chairs, which were in an oval circle, and we hummed a tune of greeting while the people came in and each received a flower, and then joined with our simple hum to continue greeting the rest coming in, all accompanied by jembe drum and guitar.

After everyone was in and we had transformed the humming to singing words to the same melody, and after a brief welcome and opening prayer, we had the jembe play while an original poem written for the service was proclaimed. When the poem was halfway through an amazing young dancer came out and danced sometimes following and sometimes leading the jembe, this culminated in an exciting flourish of sound and movement that really must have thrilled the heart of our Lord.

Then we took our first small steps towards congregational harmony and taught everyone some simple harmonies that undergirded a solo sung melody, and this will be developed with increasing complexity over time.

Then one of the members of our congregation that has been blossoming before everyone's eyes over recent months, shared her testimony of dramatic and brutal sexual and ritual abuse as a child, and then presented to us a beautiful sculpture of a tree with leaves made out of little origami's that represented her journey from horror to the Lord's sweet and ongoing redemption of her heart and mind. It will be a permanent part of our worship space.

As we were all deeply moved by her story, and the beauty of the sculpture, we followed that by a moment of silent prayer and reflection. And out of that silence came the piercingly beautiful soprano voice of an opera singer, joined soon by a tenor singing a gorgeous duet in Hebrew.

Then some more worship singing by the congregation (with congregational harmony) and a short talk on our hopes for Communion of the Arts which flowed naturally into remembering our Lord with the sacrament of communion. For this we had three stations set up, and we gathered around them like a family meal and all greeted one another. After reading the scripture, we each in our time took some of the bread dipped it in the wine and ate.

Then another song in harmony, and for the scripture text, an actor dramatically spoke the text from memory.

Then I came to give a brief overview of the scripture text, before going to our small groups to spend time getting to know one another, and teach one another the scripture.

At the end we all came back for the artShare - a chance to experience the art of someone we know whether Christian or not, and some announcements and closing prayer.

Thank you all for your prayers, it was a wonderful time and we are looking forward to it's ongoing development and to growing closer as a community.

Wall Street Journal encourages us!

Thanks for the encouragement Lord! (and to the reporter from the WSJ!)

Details of our first Sunday gathering on Easter in the post below.

(click on the picture to make it bigger)

It's an article on a church in Pittsburgh that uses drama as their liturgy, so the reporter wanted to talk to others doing a similar thing. If you can't read it, it says "In New York, the Communion of the Arts hopes artists will flock to its first Sunday service on Easter in Times Square". That's it, but it was on the front page!

She didn't quote any of the other great things I said during our interview - but that's probably for the better knowing how they will skip over the 95% of good things you said and quote the one stupid thing (although with me that might be more like 75%/25%).

Easter Sunday!

Many other cultures call it Resurrection Sunday, and it is definitely a time of new beginnings - like all of mankind being redeemed - each of us being given a new start.

For us this is the time where we go from being a home group plus, to becoming a full fledged church on Sunday mornings.

For me it is quite amazing to see this thing after 2 1/2 years fully blossom. The more amazing thing to me is to see how it is the blossoming of so many people that are the actual petals of the larger blossom.

It's like one of those pictures, that when you get closer you see it is made up of so many smaller snapshots of people and the computer has arranged it according to the various hues and the light and dark parts, so that when you pull back it is a big beautiful picture.

We are going to have dance and sculpture and dramatic readings and baptism and communion and a beautiful space and a chance to teach one another the scripture.

Our dream has always been that we will draw artists and those that love the arts in and bring them together to create an entirely original and beautiful public worship liturgy - and that is exactly what is happening.

I was just interviewed this morning by the Wall Street Journal for an article they are doing on a church in Pittsburgh that is using drama in their worship service - so that is a great thing for the future of this movement towards the arts within the church, and maybe if we are mentioned in the article we will be heard about by some who may have been desiring a fresh new way of being with God.

Please come, you are welcome.

Here's the details:

Easter Sunday, April 16th
11am

The Lamb's Theatre
130 W. 44th St. (between 6th & 7th Aves.)
New York City
Right in Times Square

"It's a sign of the times," Mr. Martin said. "People are into beards right now."
- NY Times

My hair is shorter than this now, but the NY Times has finally given me the acclaim I deserve as bearded trendsetter. Finally the world understands.

Paul Bunyan, Modern-Day... [attractability]... Symbol

Excerpts from the article:

...At hipster hangouts and within fashion circles, the bearded revolution that began with raffishly trimmed whiskers a year or more ago (...right when I grew mine...) has evolved into full-fledged Benjamin Harrisons. At New York Fashion Week last month at least a half-dozen designers turned up with furry faces.

...Men both straight and gay, it appears, want to feel rough and manly.

(...a good description of my aesthetic...)

...And with their fully furry chins ...the editor in chief and the style director of Cargo magazine, the metrosexual manifesto, seem now to be endorsing a lumberjack ideal

(...what I've always preached...)

...'Where did you get that beard? Is that beard from Dolce & Gabbana?' "

(...of course mine's Versace...)

... "I met my current girlfriend a week after I started growing my beard...

(...obviously a misquote as a full beard takes a bit longer to acheive it's full attractability...)

..."It's like a security blanket on my face,"...

(...not that I don't have enough confidence on my own...)

..."I'm kind of into guys with beards today"...said Lola..."the pretty-boy look can only last for so long."

(...thank you for finding a woman named Lola to quote...)

the link to the article (yes, it's actually true)

If this is your first visit, it get's a lot more spiritual below.

Dismissed

When you are dismissed, you go away

Two mobsters:
“Hey, things with Joey ‘aint workin’ out”
“Whattya wanna do?”
“Joey should go away”

Interesting, the meaning of “go away” means murder, and in scripture the idea of hating someone is the same as murdering them.

In each case we simply wish the person did not exist anymore.

We do this all the time in our lives in the most casual way without realizing it – we dismiss people from our life, from our presence because we do not like them.

We want community.

But in the midst of our gatherings we constantly commit murder – we dismiss and send away. You cannot build community with multiple murders in your midst.

Just look at the words

To negate
set aside
void
abolish
dismiss

Ughhhh, such ugly words, they make me sad inside.

To love is to do the opposite, and to love well means to be vigilant to your own heart to see when you have so casually not loved.

Did you judge someone by their appearance and dismiss them?

Did you say no to the possibility of someone being promoted or accepted into a position and then after that, felt awkward around them and so avoided them?

Did you judge someone by their “inappropriateness” in a social situation, and decide you only allow yourself to be in the presence of those with advanced levels of social intelligence?

The life of faith, the life of love, is one in which we are vigilant over our behavior in these kind of scenario's to see and notice when we are dismissing others. Then to examine our hearts to see why we did it, and then to repent and ask God for the power to change, and then to work hard with his grace to permanently change such behavior. To associate with the lowly means those that you judge as below you.

That is the personal level, then there's the organizational level where power amplifies the effects. The use of power to dismiss within organizations is doubly evil because it allows you to make your dismissal more than private, but public. It causes it to be followed by others who follow you as their leader.

The way I have most often seen this take place in church or parachurch organizations, is when someone has been considered for a leadership position and then for whatever reason rejected, and often the “rejecters” feel kind of bad and so they tend to ignore the person after that. That persons presence makes them feel guilty or something, or maybe they just didn’t like the person to begin with, and so that person is not as welcomed and supported as others might be.

Often the negative effects of dismissing someone are not so much things you do against them, but rather things that you don’t do for them that you would have otherwise.

Whenever someone approaches any organization of any kind, church or secular, they need relationships within that organization that will open doors for them and usher them forward. The problem that the dismissed person has is that now doors that would have been opened for them had they been accepted, are not opened.

Once you “set them aside” they can be effectively shut down for life within that organization. That is power.

When you have the power to open doors for someone, or to close the door on them and set them aside, it is the way of Christ that you use that power very carefully and with the fear of God.

Do you know the person? Do you love them?

Are you really sure they couldn’t be accepted and helped along?

Is there something else you can steer them toward so they will be accepted rather than rejected?

If you reject them, make sure you follow that with an unusually high level of love and acceptance, and set them up to be accepted by others, and find a way to build into their life until they are ready to be accepted for that or another position.

Our church policy:
#1: Never make a decision about someone’s life who you do not know and love.
#2: We say yes. If you are a leader that has to make decisions about accepting people into new leadership positions, you almost always say yes. In the super rare case have to say no to accepting someone into a leadership position, you are automatically given the responsibility to mentor them until they can be accepted. Saying no actually requires more work, so we are more likely to say yes.

Now let’s look at the lovely words:

to accept
approve
validate
support
affirm
welcome

You can love poorly or you can love well.